Over the last several months the universe seems to have been against me. I had to focus on keeping my head above water and just trying to get by. I was dealt more than I thought I could handle and I needed to put myself aside to be the rock for my family despite what I was going through. I had to put this blog on a shelf but the time has come to bring it back! I can see the light through the forest, though life is still very hard right now I truly believe it is starting to turn around. I also realize through all of this that neglecting my own needs doesn’t help anyone.
I am a firm believer in looking on the bright side. It could always be worse, other people have it worse. While I still believe we should try to find the good in any bad situation, I have also come to learn that it’s ok to feel bad for yourself. It’s ok to accept and grieve for the troubles you are going through. Don’t wallow in your self pity but don’t ignore your feelings either.
Self awareness is a valuable skill everyone needs to improve. I have strived for as long as I can remember to a be strong and positive person at all times. This is an unrealistic and unfair expectation. No one can bare the world on their shoulders alone. I pushed through and forced myself to be “ok” until so much built up that the dam broke and for days I could do nothing but cry. My initial reaction to this was embarrassment. My coworkers, my family and friends, strangers, had all seen my breakdown. I felt weak and pitiful for not being able to carry my burden alone. As I apologized for my weakness I learned that I was the only one judging me for my breakdown. I started to realize that trying so hard to be strong and pretending for so long to be “ok” were the stepping stones to my downfall.
It’s Ok to not be Ok! I urge you to learn from my mistake. We all have struggles but mine don’t make yours any less real. The pain of people less fortunate than me don’t make mine any less painful. Sometimes life sucks, that is true for every living soul. Never feel guilty or weak for not being strong enough to carry your burden alone. If you could easily handle it, you wouldn’t learn from it. When someone asks if you are ok, be honest. If you feel like you are drowning, seek help. Don’t wait for your breaking point. Do what you need to do to get through it.
I know this post was a bit of a downer but it needed to be said. Now that I’m back, exciting posts are on the horizon! For those of you who love the DYI stuff, stay tuned! Big things are coming!
Have the day you’re going to have, but try to find the rays of sunshine hiding out there!